Crossroad moments look like
Sometimes in life, we face crossroad moments—times when we need to make a choice, one that works for us and not against us. That builds stability, health, mental agility and strength.
These moments ask us to:
Pause and think.
Understand what matters most to us.
Make decisions from a place of honesty with ourselves.
This can be hard because it often means:
Figuring out who you are and what you stand for. Making choices that may go against what others expect or what you think you “should” do.
A simple way to think about it: “Know yourself, then act.”
When you understand yourself—your values, needs, and what feels right, then you can make choices that match who you really are.
This clarity enables confidence, aids determination and is the foundation for integrity.
Look at the areas below and notice which ones you are currently experiencing.
It’s normal to work on more than one at a time. Life events can overlap, and that’s okay.
1. Lifestyle Choices
We all start 'living' the ways we are used to while growing up, but for most people, there comes a time when this is challenged.
We meet someone who lives and loves differently. We observe how others live, interact, and make their life choices. We are challenged one way or the other, and we need to make adjustments to fit in, achieve the goal, or sacrifice parts of ourselves to keep the peace, get ahead, or fit in. At some stage, we are likely to challenge ourselves or we will be asked during the Crossroad Moment.....
What were my dreams and desires, and do I still want them?
What does success mean to you?
What do you see as normal, even if it isn't healthy or giving you what you love?
How do you know how you should be, must do, or have things to be accepted and considered 'a good person?
Reflecting on your Lifestyle Choices encompasses all the bases of life....
Who you choose to be.
How you choose to interact with the world and others and invest your time in creating a life-style.
Choosing your experiences and living from choice is authentic, aligned, and true to you, based on your values, priorities, and passions.
2. Education, Career, Creating Money
How we view money, responsibility, and direction often differs at different life stages—starting out vs starting a family, midlife and when things seem to 'fall apart'.
How to create ethical money, and what that even means for yourself, can be different for each person. Do you follow social norms, freelance, work as a self-employed person, or just wing it?
How do you navigate being laid off from work, the challenges of meeting financial and family commitments, redundancy, divorce, becoming a parent, etc.?
Most play it safe and compromise their dreams or expectations. This works for a while, but can become a huge stressor over time. At some point, many start exploring what is right for us, taking into account our commitments and personal needs.
Money is often tied to personal identity, our sense of value, self-esteem, worthiness, deservedness, and being good enough beliefs.
Knowing the rules, beliefs, norms, and expectations you have been living by opens the door to consider whether they are still true or if there are other ways to feel successful, content, and accomplished.
3. Relationships with Self, Intimate, Family & friends/colleagues
One of our biggest challenges is being true to ourselves while considering others' needs, wants, expectations, ways of being and desires.
Our upbringing creates a fairly straightforward blueprint of who we are, our place in the world, how we 'should' interact with it, and what others expect of us.
Unfortunately, this is laden with generational, societal and unhealthy norms that undermine healthy self-esteem, identity and what we should do in every situation. We are taught what is safe and acceptable behaviour, usually through threats, punishment and pain. These fear-based memories effectively keep us small, trapped and all too willing to conform.
Relationships are the places where our buttons get pushed and show us what we think, feel and believe, yet without the know-how, insight or courage to explore what is important to ourselves, let alone communicate it with others, we keep doing what we have always done.
The risk of self-discovery and of developing healthy, secure relationships is so unfamiliar and often too scary that we will sell ourselves out to keep the peace and keep things ars they are.
At what cost, though?
Is the price asked worth losing yourself along the way?
For some, it is; for others, no.
Significant crossroads moments are deciding whether to commit to a long-term relationship, marry, have children, divorce, or ask your partner to address relationship issues.
4. Stepping up and into dreams
You have started to believe it's possible for something different, and you have started navigating your crossroads, yet the blocks, fears, limiting stories, and beliefs are rising to the surface, big time!
You are determined to work through them and become more confident and relaxed about your choice, yet something is still holding you back, and you are unsure what it is. This leads to freeze, fawn, doubt, inaction, hiding or playing small, basically overcautious.
Knowing that our fears are learnt and designed to protect against the unfamiliar and unknown, they are doing a great job.
Now, though, you need to re-create and rewrite the scripts from your past and step into a new set of beliefs and stories that reinforce your dreams and desires.
Thankfully, it is possible and easy enough to do with the tools, commitment, courage, and curiosity to unlearn, learn and adapt to the truth and wholeness of your life purpose.
5. Health Scare and Wellness
A health scare or witnessing another's is often a pivotal crossroads moment.
Realising mortality is finite, it gives a wake-up call to consider what is important, why they are doing what they do, and explore their soul's calling.
Often, people start asking,
"How did I get here?" and
"Is this all there is to life?".
The challenge is real, compounded when others share their concerns and tell you what you should think, feel, do and choose.
The event could challenge your lifestyle, career, and relationships, asking you to listen to a deeper voice - what you value, what you want to be doing and how to bridge the gap between this, and that.
Choosing life and doing what gives you peace, joy, fulfilment, and well-being creates its own challenges.
Significant lifestyle changes and dealing with health issues usually bring up hidden conflicts with others that have been simmering in the background for ages.
What is your truth?
What is important to you from here? These are the key questions to ask through this crossroads moment.
6. Life and family stages
Each life stage creates its unique challenges and questions.
Relationship dynamics, expectations, emotional and physical demands stress everyone.
Parenting brings up unresolved family issues about parenting styles and triggers hidden rules and expectations around child rearing, parenting, partnering, and providing. These are significant aspects that need to be navigated.
Parenting asks us to parent our inner child in ways we wanted to be looked after, but weren't.
Moving into teenage years, empty nesting, and aging asks us to revisit and redefine ourselves and our parental, family and social relationships.
Questioning the norms of each stage, are they current and healthy, or do you choose to do things differently?
Are we wanting, willing and active in bucking systems from 30, 40 or 50+ years ago because that world is no longer?
And how do we even do this if we don't know what we stand for, what is important, what we value, and what we choose to create more of in the future?
Navigating new terrain is challenging, and the complexities can be massive depending on the parts at play and what is happening.
At the core, the premise is "Know Yourself," for when you know who and what you stand for, you can make conscious choices aligned with your values and purpose.
7. Personal Growth and Self-Improvement
Whatever the reason to start the journey of self-development and inner growth, the process is the same.
You have decided something needs to give or be different, and decided it has to start with you.
You have decided to step up and take responsibility for what you are co-creating in life. After all, what is within shows in our reality. If we don't like what we see, then our fears, limiting beliefs and lack of stories are at play.
The first instance could be any of the other Crossroads moments, or you could have looked around and realised what you are doing isn't what you want any more.
The original 'reason' for your choices doesn't matter, because you are not that person anymore.
Focus on
Who do you choose to become?
What do you choose to create in the future? and, with this,
What do you need to heal, shift, transform and learn, to become who you need to be to create a different future?
Dig deeper, see who you are under the layers of BS (Belief Systems), and release your true potential from the place of abundance and love.
8. Ethical, Moral and Legal Dilemmas
Situations that challenge one's values, principles, priorities, and character create a portal for exploration, clarification and consciousness into one’s truth.
You may see or hear something that isn't right - legal, ethical, or what you value.
These situations demand we know where we draw the line. Your interpretation and management of the situation can be a significant crossroads moment. The bigger the reaction, the further away from your values and truths you hold dear.
Again, our inherited diversity, segregation, inclusion, power, class, standards, norms, expectations, and rules shape how we decide whether something is good, bad, evil, or saintly.
But, if our ideals are on the fringe or go against current social, moral, and legal standards, when others or situations challenge us, we will be asked to reconsider or be forced to address the mismatch in our beliefs and how we fit in and respond.
The more targeted, involved, and responsible the role and responsibilities are within the situation or triggered by it, the deeper the issues will likely be.
The core issues can be singular or often crossover between relationships, career, social, political and personal identity, and status, making it a profound crossroad situation.
"Your Crossroad Moment Transformation."
Crossroad moments can occur at any age or stage of life and are triggered by significant life events. Relationship challenges or breakups, employment instability and stresses, health challenges, aging alongside social isolation and economic instability are the perfect storm for Crossroad Moments. It is these moments that ask, if not force us to become self-aware, before we can create a different path.
The world is vastly different from when we were kids and extremely different from what our parents learned and shared with us.
Our worldview — how we feel about ourselves, who we are, what we are working towards, and our sense of safety — is being challenged, creating internal and external instability and uncertainty. These are perfect opportunities to assess the social and cultural rules we have lived by.
Whose rules do you live by?
Your heritage, generational expectations, and societal norms, or have you broken through some of these and consciously chosen what you believe, think, do, and focus your attention on?
With an increase in mental health and trauma awareness, many are challenging their upbringing and exploring what is important to them. Many are re-evaluating their lives, goals and priorities and making choices that change their lives, coming from a place of authenticity and empowerment.
By leaning into these challenges —both the small irritations and the crossroad moments —we can navigate the opportunities to Create Your Life on Your Terms! Seriously!!
The fundamental core of Crossroad moments is a sense of disconnection from ourselves. Stressors, social and family expectations, unrealistic ideals, etc., often lead us to shut down, ignore and hide our deepest desires and who we choose to be. Disconnecting from ourselves creates a disconnect from our passions, joys, purpose and connection with life.
Therefore, when we know ourselves and live in alignment with our values, truths and desires, we live with greater ease and comfort. We make conscious choices and don't blindly follow others' rules and expectations.
Awareness, specifically self-awareness, is the first step to creating any change.
The more you know why, what and how you think, act, and decide, you become empowered with self-knowledge. By combining your self-awareness with knowledge, skills, tools, support, and encouragement, you are well placed to adapt and create your life on your terms in the ever-changing world.
But why bother? Because not bothering often festers, and things get worse.
On the flip side, what you gain is knowing yourself better than anyone else can, which builds Empowered thoughts, choices, and actions.
Common Limiting, Fear Based Beliefs holding you back
If you are unsure what is holding you back from living a life by choice. Consider the following scenarios and answer the following 2 questions:
What should and should not be in your life, work, relationships, etc.?
What do you hear yourself saying when you:
- See something you want to have or do, but it is 'out of character' or different from when you were growing up?
It could be clothes, career, holidays, homes, lifestyle, putting yourself first, children, etc., like someone, but you think they are 'out of your league', or you are not good enough.
You stop any potential future before giving yourself the opportunity.
- Want to branch out and experience more in life, but your family, friends, and status quo hold you back, keep you feeling inadequate, not enough and think it's impossible to go for your heart's calling.
- Feel anxious or depressed, but can't figure out why, after all, you "Have it all!!" but do you? Do you know yourself enough to say your life is the right mix for you?
- Are you being you, yet are buttons pushed/triggered/hurt by what someone says or does? Suddenly, you are reacting and not sure why.
The thoughts, reactions and stories you hear when answering the questions are beliefs in your subconscious. You listen to well-worn tracks created in response to previous (unpleasant) experiences.
Are you in a Crossroad Moment?
Consider the common questions and feelings that show up.
"There must be more than this! "
"I'm stuck and don't know how to get out of where I am."
"I'm stuck meeting my commitments, priorities and how I feel!"
"Others seem to have it all together, but I am sinking into a void of uncertainty."
"What am I doing, and Who AM I?"
"What should I be doing?"
"I don't even remember what brings me happiness anymore or why I am doing what I am doing."
The more times you experience similar situations and feelings, the deeper the track becomes and the more influential it is. Exploring, addressing, and changing the hidden, knee-jerk beliefs at the subconscious level changes your world.
You can live life more consciously, not dictated by historical feelings, stories, thoughts and behaviours, but by happier life experiences, with more ease and peace.
Experience the brighter side of life as you choose, create and attract experiences you enjoy and see things differently.
It's easier to see others' points of view and see beyond their masks. Their rules, expectations and projections.
Friendships, careers, adventures, health, finances, etc., as you choose them.
Your body becomes healthier, stronger, and more alive.
The best part is you do have a choice! You can re-write your fears, lies, stories and expecations, unleashing your fullest potential.
Creating Your Life on Your Terms means living an empowered, authentic life!
Knowing your hidden but powerfully limiting fears, stories, lies, beliefs, expectations, and rules puts you in a better position to choose, giving you more control over your future than you might realise.
Experiences are the reflection of what you consciously and subconsciously believe, the rules you live by. And we describe our experiences through stories. Relaying to ourselves and others how we saw, interpreted and gave meaning to situations.
Humans are natural-born story makers, even if we keep them in our thoughts. We have a need to make sense of what happens, especially when an emotion is triggered. When you have an emotional reaction to what someone says, does to you, or witnesses. Any emotional response - good, bad or ugly, our mind will create a story and you give meaning to the experience.
Like all good stories, there is a plot, cause and effect, and an explanation of why things happened. Usually, there is a lesson to preventing bad things from happening again or increasing the number of good experiences. We innately move towards creating pleasure, and avoiding pain.
Young children do not have the ways, means or skills to see things accurately. Parents having a bad day, siblings feeling things they don't like, friends staying safe and in the group etc., and so, they write storylines that others off the hook, and believe they are the reason why something happens, and blame themselves. Unfortunately, each time a similar or same situation happens, the more ingrained the story becomes in their subconscious. Larger the neurological pathways in the brain that becomes their go-to story when 'things' happen. Even when the good outways the bad, the brain is trained to see parts bits of info that is similar or the same to the originating story. Like a microscope or radar that has a shape filter. One can only 'see' the shape because other parts are blocked out.
Still not sure what I am saying? Consider the following scenarios and see if you relate to them:
Your classmates were playing but didn't invite or tease you. You started to believe they didn't want you around and were not good enough.
Your grades at school were not acknowledged, praised, or compared to others, and you take on the belief you are not 'smart enough', important, capable, or visible.
You grew up in a home with regular fighting, being ignored, teased, or abused. You thought you were not enough to get the love you needed as a child. We all have an innate need to be loved, cared for and encouraged.
Family, society, religious rules, etc., told you, "We don't do this or that."
Often, beliefs around money, relationships, ambition, or anything that makes you different from the 'norm' create the question, "What will the neighbours think?" or thoughts that we are risking being kicked out, hurt, labelled, etc., and keep us playing small or in the same place.
The list is much longer than this, but you can hear your beliefs and rules by listening to your self-talk.