Start with the power of Questions! They have the power to change your World!!
When powerful, self-awareness questions are asked, you create an opportunity to learn about yourself, your past, future and clarify if you are living your life, or others' expectations from auto-pilot.
Gathering meaningful information about the beliefs and rules you live by gives invaluable insight.
Firstly, you learn about your past programming.
Start exploring what is important to you, and identify what you consider to be important and represent authenticity for you.
This information is then used to create a life of your choosing, on purpose.
A life on purpose and in alignment with your values, and character traits your choose, and therefore create a life and legacy on Your Terms!
Download the eBook copy of 20+Pivotal Questions to Frame Your Path, the first step on your Journey Quest
"Your Crossroad Moment Transformation."
Crossroad moments can occur at any age or stage of life and are triggered by major life events. Relationship challenges or breakups, employment instability and stresses, health challenges, aging alongside social isolation and economic instability are the perfect storm for Crossroad Moments.
The world is vastly different from when we were kids and extremely different from what our parents learned and shared with us.
Our world - how we feel about ourselves, who we are, what we are working towards and our sense of safety are being challenged. Internal and external instability, uncertainty, and questioning our lives are the perfect opportunities to assess the social and cultural rules we have lived by.
Who's rules do you live from? Your heritage, generational expectations, and societal norms, or have you broken through some of these and consciously chosen what you believe, think, do, and focus your attention on?
With more recent attention to mental health and trauma awareness, many are challenging our upbringing and exploring what is important to them. Many are re-evaluating their lives, goals and priorities, and making choices that change their lives, coming from a place of authenticity and empowerment.
By leaning into these challenges, both the small irritations and the crossroad moments, we can navigate the opportunities to Create Your Life on Your Terms! Seriously!!
The fundamental core of Crossroad moments is a sense of disconnection from ourselves. Stressors, social and family expectations, unrealistic ideals, etc., often lead us to shut down, ignore and hide our deepest desires and true selves, creating a disconnect from our passions, joys, purpose and connection with life. Therefore, when we know ourselves and live a life aligned with our desires, we live a life with greater ease and comfort. We make conscious choices and do not blindly follow others' rules and expectations.
Awareness, specifically self-awareness, is the first step to creating any change. The more you know why, what and how you choose your thoughts, actions and choices, the more you become empowered with self-knowledge. Combine your self-awareness with knowledge, skills, tools, support, and encouragement, you are well placed to adapt to create your life on your terms within the ever-changing world.
But why bother? Because not bothering often festers, and things get worse.
On the flip side, what you gain is to know yourself better than anyone else can, which builds Empowered thoughts, choices and actions.
Empowerment is a state of being!
You are entitled to express yourself in all you are and do.
There are 11 attributes, self-Awareness is the key that opens the door to the others.
Openness & flexibility
Self-care and love
Creating Your Life on Your Terms means living an empowered, authentic life!
All healing ultimately comes from within, not from outside experiences.
Authenticity is defined as: "The unhindered operation of one's true, or core, self in one's daily work" is the definition of authenticity (Kernis, 2003). This definition emphasises the need for people to be aware of their own thoughts, feelings, and motivations. Sheldon (2013) proposed that there are four dimensions to authenticity. (Original Source Journal)
Experiences are the reflection of what you consciously and subconsciously believe, the rules you live by. And we describe our experiences through stories. Relaying to ourselves and others how we saw, interpreted and gave meaning to situations.
Humans are natural-born story makers, even if we keep them in our thoughts. We have a need to make sense of what happens, especially when an emotion is triggered. When you have an emotional reaction to what someone says, does to you, or witnesses. Any emotional response - good, bad or ugly, our mind will create a story and you give meaning to the experience.
Like all good stories, there is a plot, cause and effect, and an explanation of why things happened. Usually, there is a lesson to preventing bad things from happening again or increasing the number of good experiences. We innately move towards creating pleasure, and avoiding pain.
Young children do not have the ways, means or skills to see things accurately. Parents having a bad day, siblings feeling things they don't like, friends staying safe and in the group etc., and so, they write storylines that others off the hook, and believe they are the reason why something happens, and blame themselves. Unfortunately, each time a similar or same situation happens, the more ingrained the story becomes in their subconscious. Larger the neurological pathways in the brain that becomes their go-to story when 'things' happen. Even when the good outways the bad, the brain is trained to see parts bits of info that is similar or the same to the originating story. Like a microscope or radar that has a shape filter. One can only 'see' the shape because other parts are blocked out.
Still not sure what I am saying? Consider the following scenarios and see if you relate to them:
Your classmates were playing, but they didn't invite you or tease you. You started to believe they didn't want you around and were not good enough.
Your grades at school were not acknowledged, praised, or compared to others, and you take on the belief you are not 'smart enough', important, or capable, or visible.
You grew up in a home with regular fighting, being ignored, teased, or abused. You thought you were not enough to get the love you needed as a child. We all have an innate need to be loved, cared for and encouraged.
Family, society, religious rules etc., told you, "We don't do this or that."
Often, beliefs around money, relationships, ambition, or anything that make you different to the 'norm'. Beliefs create the question- "What will the neighbours think?", or thoughts we are risking being kicked out, hurt, labelled etc and keep us playing small or in the same place..
The list is much longer than this, but you can hear your beliefs and rules by listening to your self-talk.
Recognise the negative beliefs and flip them into positives
Limiting, fear based belief:
"I am Not......because....."
Common Limiting, Fear Based Beliefs holding you back
If you are unsure what is holding you back from living a life by choice. Consider the following...
What should and should not be in your life, work, relationships, etc.?
What do you hear yourself saying when you ..
See something you want to have or do, but is 'out of character' or different when growing up?
It could be clothes, career, holidays, homes, lifestyle, putting yourself first, children, etc. like someone, but you think they are 'out of your league', or you are not good enough. You stop any potential future before giving yourself the opportunity.
Want to branch out and experience more in life, but your family, friends, and status quo hold you back, keep you feeling inadequate, not enough and think it's impossible to go for your heart's calling.
Feel anxious or depressed, but can't figure out why, after all, you "Have it all!!" but, do you? Do you know yourself enough to say your life is the right mix for you?
Are you being you, yet are buttons pushed/triggered/hurt by what someone says or does? Suddenly, you are reacting and not sure why. The thoughts, reactions and stories you heard when answering the questions are beliefs in your subconscious. You listen to well-worn tracks created in response to previous (unpleasant) experiences.
Are you in a Crossroad Moment?
Consider the common questions and feelings that show up.
"There must be more than this! "
"I'm stuck and don't know how to get out of where I am."
"I'm stuck meeting my commitments, priorities and how I feel!"
"Others seem to have it all together, but I am sinking into a void of uncertainty."
"What Am I doing, and Who AM I?"
"What should I be doing?"
"I don't even remember what brings me happiness anymore or why I am doing what I am doing."
The more times you experience similar situations and feelings, the deeper the track becomes and the more influential. By exploring, addressing and changing the hidden, knee-jerk beliefs at the subconscious level, you change your world.
You can live life more consciously, not dictated by historical feelings, stories, thoughts and behaviours, but by happier life experiences, with more ease and peace.
Experience the brighter side of life as you choose, create and attract experiences you enjoy and see things differently.
It's easier to see others' points of view and see beyond their masks. Their rules, expectations and projections.
Friendships, careers, adventures, health, finances etc., as you choose them.
Your body becomes healthier, stronger, and more alive.
The best part is you do have a choice! You can re-write your fears, lies, stories and expecations, unleashing your fullest potential.
Upgraded belief :
"I am not that person anymore, and I am safe, worthy, capable of Creating my life on my Terms!"
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