Are you in your Crossroad Moment?
If you are like many people I talk with, life is getting interesting, and not necessarily for the good.
Things are challenging. Work, relationships, and life seem to be changing. A general unrest in your body, and a level of uncertainty about the future: decisions need to be made, but you also know, making changes, and decisions right for you will affect others. Yet, the gnawing feeling inside stays there, sometimes screaming at you to look at what you are doing and to do something else. Your health is being compromised; anxiety, tiredness, depression, agitation and boredom are common symptoms that something needs to be different, but what?
You might think and feel:
"There has to be more than this! "
"I'm stuck, and I don't know how to get out of where I am, my commitments, priorities and how I feel!"
"Others seem to have it all together, but I am sinking into a void of uncertainty."
"What Am I doing, and Who AM I, really?"
Good news, these are the questions to ask. Yep, questions that ask the what, why and how you are now, gives you empowering answers. Answers you can use to create personal insight, informed decisions, and, best of all, workable actions according to your values, beliefs you choose to believe in.
You Create Your Life on Your Terms, authenticity.
Who you choose to be, create and attract. Umm, I wrote a book on this topic.
While navigating my most significant crossroad moment, I had to get real! I was on life's edge, and even though I attempted to jump, I was pulled back and not allowed to leave. I got angry, furious, actually. I wanted to have a choice over living, but apparently, I had a bigger purpose in life. This, is what made the difference.
Surrendering to my higher calling to give others hope through their challenging moments. To help them understand why they think, feel and do what they do, and as much as I wanted to blame others, my parents, the era I grew up in etc. I had to accept I was now an adult, and it was my responsibility to own life. To claim my life for me.
The best part of my journey is others can benefit from the skills I learnt, the insights I gleaned, and the lessons I travelled through help others through their challenging moments in life too.
Empathy is compassion through understanding, and empathy I have in spades.
I know what it is like to
be at rock bottom and wanting Out.
so confused about the little things and spinning in the same spot from uncertainty
have lived others' expectations, stories, and rules and have no idea who I was, what I liked, or created pleasure.
Not having a voice makes it easier to do what others choose because it won't rock the boat or upset things. Meanwhile, dying a slow death inside from resentment, frustration, anger and numbness.
My journey from self-destruct led to completing professional training in psychology, human belief systems, and a wide range of therapy, strategies and modalities I still regularly use. Now, you, too, can learn about yourself and your hidden desires through the courses, books, and programs available here.
Questions have the power to change your World!! Leading you towards an authentic life!
When powerful, self-awareness questions are asked, you create an opportunity to learn about yourself, your past, future and clarify if you are living your life, or others' expectations from auto-pilot.
Gathering meaningful information about the beliefs and rules you live by gives invaluable insight.
Firstly, you learn about your past programming.
Start exploring what is important to you, and identify what you consider to be important and represent authenticity for you.
This information is then used to create a life of your choosing, on purpose.
A life on purpose and in alignment with your values, and character traits your choose, and therefore create a life and legacy on Your Terms!
Download the eBook copy of 20+Pivotal Questions to Frame Your Path, the first step on your Journey Quest
How Authentically are you living your life?
Authenticity is defined as:
"The unhindered operation of one's true, or core, self in one's daily work" is the definition of authenticity (Kernis, 2003).
This definition emphasises the need for people to be aware of their own thoughts, feelings, and motivations. Sheldon (2013) proposed that there are four dimensions to authenticity. (Original Source Journal)
1. Knowledge
Developing behaviours that motivate one to act with the knowledge, wisdom and thoughts towards Self Actualisation.
Coming back to your core self and living from passion, unconditional self-love and acceptance
2. Unbiased processing
Being open and curious about one's thoughts, feelings and behaviour without critical judgement. Holds self-compassion, empathy and encouragement from a loving space as one would a young child.
3. Integrous behaviour
Consistently choosing, and behaving congruently with your values, interests and needs.
4. Personal Interactions
When people act with sincerity and truthfully with others.
Creating Your Life on Your Terms means living an authentic life!
All healing ultimately comes from within, not from outside experiences.
Experiences are the reflection of what you consciously and subconsciously believe, the rules you live by. And we describe our experiences through stories. Relaying to ourselves and others how we saw, interpreted and gave meaning to situations.
Humans are natural-born story makers, even if we keep them in our thoughts. We have a need to make sense of what happens, especially when an emotion is triggered. When you have an emotional reaction to what someone says, does to you, or witnesses. Any emotional response - good, bad or ugly, our mind will create a story and you give meaning to the experience.
Like all good stories, there is a plot, cause and effect, and an explanation of why things happened. Usually, there is a lesson to preventing bad things from happening again or increasing the number of good experiences. We innately move towards creating pleasure, and avoiding pain.
Young children do not have the ways, means or skills to see things accurately. Parents having a bad day, siblings feeling things they don't like, friends staying safe and in the group etc., and so, they write storylines that others off the hook, and believe they are the reason why something happens, and blame themselves. Unfortunately, each time a similar or same situation happens, the more ingrained the story becomes in their subconscious. Larger the neurological pathways in the brain that becomes their go-to story when 'things' happen. Even when the good outways the bad, the brain is trained to see parts bits of info that is similar or the same to the originating story. Like a microscope or radar that has a shape filter. One can only 'see' the shape because other parts are blocked out.
Still not sure what I am saying? Consider the following scenarios and see if you relate to them:
Your classmates were playing, but they didn't invite you or tease you. You started to believe they didn't want you around and were not good enough.
Your grades at school were not acknowledged, praised, or compared to others, and you take on the belief you are not 'smart enough', important, or capable, or visible.
You grew up in a home with regular fighting, being ignored, teased, or abused. You thought you were not enough to get the love you needed as a child. We all have an innate need to be loved, cared for and encouraged.
Family, society, religious rules etc., told you, "We don't do this or that."
Often, beliefs around money, relationships, ambition, or anything that make you different to the 'norm'. Beliefs create the question- "What will the neighbours think?", or thoughts we are risking being kicked out, hurt, labelled etc and keep us playing small or in the same place..
The list is much longer than this, but you can hear your beliefs and rules by listening to your self-talk.
Recognise the negative beliefs and flip them into positives
Limiting, fear based belief:
"I am Not......because....."
Upgraded belief :
"I am not that person anymore, and I am safe, worthy, capable of Creating my life on my Terms!"
Common Limiting, Fear Based Beliefs holding you back
Not sure wat is holding you back from living a life by choice? Consider the following...
What are the shoulds and should not in your life, work, relationships, etc.?
What do you hear yourself saying when you ..
See something you would like to have or do, but is 'out of character' or different when growing up?
It could be clothes, career, holidays, homes, lifestyle, putting yourself first, children, etc.
like someone, but you think they are 'out of your league', or you are not good enough. You stop any potential future before giving yourself the opportunity.
Want to branch out and experience more in life, but your family, friends, status quo hold you back, keep you feeling inadequate, not enough and thinking its impossible to go for your heart's calling.
Feel anxious or depressed, but can't figure out why, after all, you "Have it all!!" but, do you? Do you know yourself enough to say your life is the right mix for you?
Are being you, yet are button pushed/triggered/hurt by what someone says or does. Suddenly, you are reacting and not sure why.
The thoughts, reactions and stories you heard when answering the questions are beliefs in your subconscious. You are listening to well-worn tracks created in response to previous (unpleasant) experiences.
The more times you experience similar situations and feelings, the deeper the track becomes and the more influential. By exploring, addressing and changing the hidden, knee-jerk beliefs at the subconscious level, you:
change your world.
You can live life more consciously. Not dictated by historic feelings, stories, thoughts and behaviours, but happier life experiences, with more ease and peace.
experience the brighter side of life as you choose, create and attract experiences you enjoy, and see things differently. Its easier to see others' points of view and see beyond their masks. Their rules, expectations and projections.
Friendships, careers, adventures, health, finances etc., as you choose them.
Your body becomes healthier, stronger, and more alive.